初次约会千万别说的25个词

Marriage, baby, STD—there are some things we all know never to say on a first date. But these surprising topics should also pretty much be off-limits.

结婚，生小孩，性病——这些词我们知道初次约会的时候不能说。不过下面这些话题同样也可能很有局限性，有时也不要提及。

Dont say: Ex

别提：前任

Nobody needs to hear about your ex on the very first date. If the two of you make it past the night, youll have plenty of time to delve into your romantic pasts. And if you do find yourself fighting the urge to bring up your ex, it’s worth asking yourself—later—what’s going on. Is it because you want to talk about what you don’t want in a relationship? Or do you want to show your date how much you’ve moved on? Or is it to reassure your date that he/she is so much better than your ex? Going on a date isn’t only about getting to know the other person better—it might also tell you more about yourself.

没有人需要第一次约会就听关于你前任的故事。如果你们两个约会成功了，你有的是时间研究你浪漫的过去。而如果你发现自己忍不住想要提，那么过后问问自己，这种欲望是为什么？是不是因为你想谈谈你不想在恋爱中遇到什么？或者你想和约会对象展示你们到了哪一步？或者是安慰你的约会对象，他/她比你的前任好多了？去约会不仅可以更好地了解其他人，这也是了解自己的好机会。

Dont say: maybe/kinda/sorta/probably

别说：可能/大概/有点/也许

Researchers from Stanford University and University of California, Santa Barbara analyzed the transcripts from more than 900 speed dates to learn what made a pair feel like they clicked on a date, and what kept them from clicking. One finding: When a date—and in particular, a woman—used hedge words such as “maybe,” “kinda,” “sorta,” and “probably,” the words signaled detachment and discomfort to her or his partner, putting distance between them.

来自斯坦福大学和加州大学的研究人员分析了900多对极速配对者的调查结果，以了解是什么让他们来电，以及什么阻止他们有感觉。有一个发现是这样的：当约会对象——特别是女人，用模糊不清的词语，如“可能”，“有点”，“八九不离十”和“大概”等，就意味着两人之间有隔阂感，以及他或她感觉不是很舒服，从而两人之间的距离感大大增加。

Dont say: Movie

别聊：电影

According to another study, less than 9 percent of first-date couples who talked about movies were interested in going on a second date. Its speculated that because so many of us hold strong opinions about films, they can be a polarizing subject. So what should you talk about? Travel. In the same study, 18 percent of the first-daters who spoke about vacations and trips wanted to go out again. The topic makes people seem outgoing and attractive to one another.

根据另一份研究，第一次约会聊到电影了的约会对象中，只有小于百分之九的男女们进行了第二次约会。据推测，可能是人们对于电影容易有两极分化的看法。所以应该聊点什么？旅行。在同一份研究中，有18%在第一次约会中聊到旅行了的人愿意进行第二次约会。旅行这个话题会让对方觉得你很外向、有吸引力。

Dont say: Colonoscopy/waxing/root canal

别提：结肠镜检查/打蜡除毛/根管治疗

Kindly refrain from discussing medical, dental, or aesthetic procedures on your first date. And even if the story of your wisdom tooth extraction is truly hilarious, trust us: it will be just as side-splitting—if not more so—when you and your date know each other a bit better.

第一次约会时尽量避免聊医疗、牙科，或美容手术的过程等。而且，即使你拔智齿的故事确实很好笑，相信我们：当你和你的约会对象互相了解更深之后再提效果会更好一点。

Dont say: Hobbies

别聊：爱好

“What are your hobbies?” is such an impersonal, stilted question that it should be asked only during jury selection or a job interview. For a first date, youll get a better response if you ask “What do you like to do on the weekends?” or “What do you do after work?”

“你有什么爱好？”是如此客观的呆板的问题，只应该在面试的时候被提到。第一次约会的时候，如果你问“你喜欢在周末做什么？”或“你下班后做什么？”，会得到更多的回应。

Dont say: Single

别说：单身

The most-hated question by would-be daters is “Why are you single?” Although there is a nugget of flattery in the query—because you’re implying that the person is really a catch—the overall effect is negative. A dater is much more likely to interpret it as “What’s wrong with you?”

最让约会对象讨厌的问题莫过于“为什么你还是单身呢？”虽然这里面暗含着一些奉承的意味——因为你暗示TA很抢手——但总体来说利大于弊。你的约会对象很可能打断你：“你脑子没问题吧？”

Dont say: Googled

别说：我用谷歌……

Based upon a completely unscientific survey of the Internet, the most-dreaded sentence to hear on a first date is “I googled you.” While it’s perfectly okay to do this, it’s just plain creepy to tell someone you did.

基于互联网的完全不科学调查，第一次约会最可怕的一句话是“我用Google搜索了你（的信息）。”虽然这么做完全没有问题，但告诉别人你这么做了会令人毛骨悚然。

Dont say: s*&t/f*&k

别说：妈的（脏话）

Yes, we all cuss from time to time and thats normal, but keep your language rated G on the first date.

是的我们都时不时地骂脏话，但是第一次的时候还是别说这些了。

Dont say: bff/omg/lol/sup

别用各种缩写

Save any acronyms and abbreviations for texting. Using them in conversation will just make you sound immature.

把所有缩略语都留在短信里吧。在谈话中使用它们只会让你显得不成熟。

Dont say: Full disclosure

别一五一十地招出来

first date is way too early for you to make any big reveals.

初次约会对于全面披露来说还太早。

Dont say: Debt/401K/salary

别说：债务/理财/薪水

The same goes for all financial matters.

一切财务问题都是这样。

Dont say: Fun

别说：有趣

Saying “I had fun” at the end of the evening is like saying “That was interesting” at the end of a movie—you’re damning the experience with faint praise. So if you had a great time, just be honest and say that.

在约会结束的时候说：“我很开心”，就像是在一部电影的结尾说“这很有趣”一样——你用微弱的赞美搞砸了这次约会经历。所以，如果你觉得你今晚过得很好，如实说就是了。